Elmer Fudd Destroys the Universe Chap1
by spiceweazel
Summary: In a world where nothing matters, and life itself is spiraling out of control, one man can save the fate of mankind. One man and his shotgun. (awesome metal music over video of explosions)
1. Chapter 1

As the final rays of sunshine were stomped out by the ever increasing smog surrounding Moosylvania, one man sat alone. He sat, left to his own devices amongst the rubble, destruction all brought about by IT. "I had one chance, and I blew it!", he said aloud to himself as artillery shells exploded in the distance. "One chance, and I blew it to smitheweens."

This man was Elmer Fudd, in another life he was an avid hunter and a successful New York stock broker. Until IT happened. IT maddened him, drove him to the outer bounds of human thought, and back. But this was now, and there was nothing he could change. Nothing at all. Nothing could ever be changed, and he found himself forcing enjoyment onto the mundanity his previous choices.

Nothing to change. But could he? He then remembered that before the calamity there was one an, a boy then, who could help him with his mission. He had to find the offices of Peabody and Sherman: Time Travelers at Law. He climbed out of the ruined townhouse, and began to walk down the long abandoned streets, full of half priced bookstores and confectioneries of days gone by. The buildings seemed to go on in an infinate loop, as they did in an age before modern technology, where prehistoric man took he and his family for a modest dinner in their rock automobile.

Fudd walked down the street for minutes, maybe even hours, before he found what he was looking for: the bombed out ruins of the law office. The doors had been blocked off by the the debris dozens of years of bombardment. "Hmm. What shall I do?", he thought to himself in a few passing seconds. "Ah, yes! I shall blow away the blast doows with my double bawwel shotgun!" He pulled out the antique firearm, and prepared it for the blast. "Fiwst, I must set the C-Fouw explosive!", he yelled as he produced some makeshift explosives from scraps in his backpack and set them. "Now...", he said to himself in a military fashion. "I will fiwe my shotgun!" He cocked both barrels, and prepared it for fire. "3... 2... 1... FIRE!", he yelled as he fired both barrels in a barrage of noise, ending in a firery explosion knocking away the destruction.

He slowly stepped in, and looked around. "What is this? It's been abandoned?!", he asked aloud yet again. All of the furniture, books, even the portraits of the two proprietors of the buisness on the sign had been taken in the chaos after the war. Fudd looked all around, in every corner, in every crevice, in every nook and cranny, until he found it. He knocked over a statue of William Shakespeare, signed by the playwrite himself, revealing a button labelled "Wayback". He sat and pondered the reprocussions of his actions. What would his future, his present be like after he goes back and alters the past forever and for all time. Putting the deep thought aside, he pressed it much haste.

After pressing the button, the floor began to split open, revealing a high tech laboratory, computers and technology of all kind surrounding one central mainframe. After the floor completely went into the wall, a staircase was revealed, leading down to the lab. After walking down the stairs, the lab only expanded, getting bigger... and bigger. He went to the center, and saw something he hadn't seen in awhile. He could be called a man out of time, a ruler over history, and the wisest man in the universe. He began to speak, "Why, hello there, Mr. Fudd. How are you?"

Fudd was speechless. He did not know of the survival of this great hero of time. "Deaw lowd... it's..."

Sound began to beam out of the central mainframe "It is I, Mr. Peabody, and my associate Sherman, and the it's pronounced arh." The central mainframe wasn't just a simple computation machine, it was the uploaded concsience of Mr. Peabody, canine mentor of the hero of time. This hero of time being Sherman, a man who has traveled through the ages since he was a very small child.

"Deaw lowd, what happened!?", he asked in shock at the terrible physical shape of both men.

"I lost this arm in a more recent trip to the Second World War, and Peabody here lost his person in a little adventure he had with a fellow named Jetson.", replied Sherman.

"We assume you don't come for tea, do you? Yes, Mr. Fudd. What is it you want from us, exactly?" questioned the computerized Peabody.

"I want to change this. All of it. I want the wowld to be like it was.", replied Fudd.

"So, you're telling us that you want to use the Wayback Machine for your own personal gain?", asked Sherman. "I'm down with that."

"Sherman, act responsibly.", scolded Peabody.

The three walked towards a chair surrounded by controls of all kinds, and Sherman sat down."Are your ready for this, Mr. Fudd?", asked Peabody. Before he got an answer, he readied the machine and set the date for December 19, 2014. "One... two.. three"

To be continued...


	2. Chapter 2

The world around the machine seemed to stop as he pressed the 'go' button. Everything churned in Fudd's as stomach the machine jerked foward into the space-time continuum. Colour erupted onto his eyes, blinding him temporarily, and sending him into a world not his own.  
>Fudd awoke in a time far beyond the one he resided, and looked around. It was strange, he never remembered any period in his life being this peaceful, this serene. This scene, however was not truly peaceful. It was 5:00, rush hour, and cars, and the people in them were crowding the streets, making noise. "Now, whewe is he...", announced Fudd to himself in search of his now sworn enemy: a certain wild hare by the name of Bugs.<br>But now, he was in the middle of the city, no hares lived there, but someone else did. Someone just as bad as Mr. Bunny: Pork Y. Pig. Fudd thought to himself "If I wewe that sunova sow, whewe would I be in 2014...". He stopped tried his hardest to remember 2014.  
>"Oh yes! Powky's Playhouse! That's whewe he would be!", he remembered- now he just had to get there. He again walked the street, passing buildings that had yet to be destroyed. When he finally reached the curb, he found a beacon guiding him to the institution of ill repute. He found a street map. "I need to go to 32nd and Maballew Avenue, but how will I get thewe?!" Just as he said that, an erratic taxi driver swerved off of the road and nearly hit Fudd, giving them the idea. He then hailed that taxi, causing it to stop midway into a comic book store wall.<br>"May I help you?", the driver, a blue dog asked.  
>"Why yes siw, you may.", replied Fudd, stepping into the taxi.<br>"Where ya'll going?", the friendly taxi driver inquired.  
>"32nd and Maballew, Powky's Playhouse to be specific.", responded Fudd.<br>"You dirty boy...", the taxi driver muttered under his breath as they pulled out of the wall. When they drove away, empty pages of the likes of Archie and Batman flew across the street. The car then sped away. "Do you mind if I listen to the radio?", the blue hound asked.  
>"Suwe, go fow it.", Fudd replied, half dog flipped the switch on the radio of the ancient car, still containing an 8 Track tape player from a time before laser beams hit glass to produce sound. The radio was playing at full volume a single song 'Oh My Darling Clementine".<br>"This here is my jam.", exclaimed the dog. "Oh my darlin', oh my darlin', oh my darlin' clementine!" the dog seemed to go on forever, only singing the chorus of the song, over... and over... and over. "We're here, little man!" Fudd did not respond, and left the car solemnly. He was on a mission- one sent from the gods. One to destroy the entire League of Evil- a group bent on the destruction of world as the people in 2014 knew it. As Elmer Fudd once used it.  
>He stepped into the club, music assaulted his ears, lasers attacked his eyes, all at once. This barrage of audiovisual content nearly wiped his mind clean, probably on purpose. Fudd walked up to the bar, and looked around. "Whewe's the boss man!?", he asked to the bartender.<br>"Umm... nowhere. Nowhere at all. He left quite awhile ago." Fudd pulled out the gun in his backpack, and cocked it. He pointed the gun at the clerk's forhead. He looked the young man straight in the eye, and winked. "Third office to the left." Fudd shot he lower part of the bar, destroying the silent alarm. What he was about to do would get him into a lot of trouble. He then ran away, into the hallway.  
>"Whewe is he, goddamn it!?", he shouted to himself. He needed to build himself up, drive the adrenalin through his veins. He was about to kill a man, many men and women. He stepped up to the door, which read "Porky Himself". Fudd took a deep breath, and looked up at the door. He kicked the door down. "Get weady to die you pig bastawd!" He fired two slugs into the pigs chest. The blood splattered on the wall, and slowly seeped down, through the grainy wood floor.<br>"That's subidata-not all, folks!", said the pig as he stood up, and pulled out a gun of his own. What happened next could not be described by anyone who witnessed it due to the sheer amount of smoke that entered the building when the fight broke out. Gunshots rang out everywhere, willhelm screams abound. When the smoke finally cleared, 30 men were dead. Except two. Fudd slowly walked up to the pig, and looked it straight out of his eyes. He pulled the trigger and walked away. He was out of the bullets, and the pig surely got the point of his actions. "IbitaAHibita I'll get you!", he yelled, bleeding to death.


End file.
